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Tourettes Guy
Danny A. Walters Jr. (born February 24, 1964) is the main protagonist of the series The Tourettes Guy, and has suffered Tourettes Syndrome for over 30 years. He wears a neck brace and also commonly wears a Tony The Tiger T-shirt and short pants, but he can occasionally be seen wearing a Columbus Blue Jackets jersey. Danny's zodiac sign is Pisces, which could explain absolutely shit all. He resides in Columbus, Ohio. The only clue about his age is when it is mentioned that he is a Tourettes Syndrome sufferer of over 3 decades in a 2004 interview. This was confirmed by the initial rumors of his death, which had been on the front page of the official Tourettes Guy website. Danny is portrayed by actor Anthony L. Six. History Danny was born on February 24, 1964 to his father (born 1935) and his mother (b. ?-d. ?). He acquired Tourettes Syndrome at ten years old in 1974. He met Shirlena (m.1984; d.1999) and had a son with her. Before Shirlena, Danny had been married to a woman named Barb, who was very vaguely mentioned in "Tourettes Guy Gets the Hiccups". The duration of Danny's marriage with Barb is unknown. Danny was believed to have died in a car accident in August 2007. However, this rumor was proved false as he was imprisoned that same year. Beliefs of his death have also been disproved with the release of "The Return Of The Tourettes Guy (Part 1)" on Christmas Day of 2009. This was followed up with "The Return Of The Tourettes Guy (Part 2)" on April 2010, and "Return Of The Tourettes Guy (Part 3)" was released December that year. Finally, in 2013, the eponymous "Tourettes Guy 2013" was released, and subsequently retitled "The Return Of The Tourettes Guy Part 4". On Halloween 2014, a Halloween episode was released. On Christmas Day 2014, another episode, titled "Speak English!!!" was released. A new video called "Make Confidence Your Bitch!" was released on April Fools Day 2016. The latest video, “Tourettes Guy Gets The Hiccups”, was released on Christmas Day 2017 as a tribute to the death of YouTube celebrity Angry Grandpa. Food/Drinks that Danny Likes * Bacon and eggs * Cheeseburgers with pickles and ketchup (and strictly not loaded up "with a bunch of bullshit") * Biggie Fries (served promptly with "some shit to drink") * Frosted Flakes (presumably) * Total cereal * Marshmallows(Don't put them back) * Beer (seen drinking it in virtually every video) * Fish Sticks (except when they're "hard as tits") * Beef Stew * Corn Dogs * Pizza * Pickles (happened to own 30 cases of pickles at one time) * Ice Cream (except when it is melting) * Popcorn * Peanut Butter * Data on Star Trek Likes * Tony the Tiger (he always wears him on a T-shirt) * Randy Travis (Owns poster of him) * Grandma Jenelle (BUT SHE'S OLD AS FUCK!!!!!) * That bitch at church * Playing pool * Puff Daddy (Finds him considerably better than Sting) * The Lion King (Not including the top clips of it) * Alf * The Mighty Duck Movies * Scooby Doo (Viewed a 12 hour marathon on Cartoon Network) * Bowling * Watching an exercise program while eating chips * Playing poker (especially when he is the victor) * The TV series "Unsolved Mysteries" * Lesbian couples(That just means she likes what I like) * Shirlena's stories of misfortune * Magnum P.I. * Mortal Kombat * Professional Wrestling * Hacksaw Jim Duggan * Interrupting Shirlena's bathroom session * Telling construction workers to eat shit * The song 'Images pour orchestre, L 122: No. 2a. Par les rues et par les chemins' (presumably due to him using that as his alarm clock sound) * Shoving a can of pringles up a preachers ass * Shoving a broom up the guy who named it fashion bug. Dislikes * Twizzlers * The Hiccups * His son dressing up as Freddy Krueger just to scare him * Franchise fee of $4.62 * Squirrels fucking his tomato plants * Smart aleck salesmen who use the word "Tomahtos" * Some bitch named Barb * When you go to his house, have 6 pancakes, 6 sausages, 3 glasses of juice, and try to play with his ass * Dicks or Cocks * Balls * Men‘s asses * Dairy Queen * Professional wrestlers Bad News Brown, Mr. Perfect, and Dusty Rhodes * Rap music * Bigfoot * Salt * Peach tree growers, peach trees * Colgate Toothpaste (with Tartar Control) * The Police vocalist Sting, especially his song "Every Breath You Take" * Having to switch phone companies * Full House * Losing in Mortal Kombat * Shirlena (on most occasions) * His neighbors playing music extremely loud * Bob Saget * Bees attacking him when trying to mow the lawn, sometimes resulting in his lawn mower speeding away from him when he lets go of it * Head and Shoulders shampoo * Losing the lottery * Being told he's not allowed to go where he pleases (primarily areas for employees only) * People who express their distaste over Total cereal * Dennis, an unknown individual * Referees * Year supplies of paper towels * His father (The Tourettes Guy and his father hold mutual, negative feelings toward each other) * U.S. President George W. Bush and subordinates, former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld * A multitude of celebrities, including George Clooney, Rick Moranis, Dom DeLuise, Vanna White, Pat Sajak and Ice Cube * Snakes * Horses (Fuck horses) * Homosexuals, only when they attempt to make romantic or sexual advances toward him * Wheel of Fortune *The song "Car Wash" *The 1980s roller hockey Kool-Aid commercial *Roy Sullivan, a man struck by lightning seven times *Charlie The Tuna, mascot of the Starkist brand *Mitsubishi vehicles *Being kicked out of a LensCrafters *When his broom closet smells like an ass *How asses look in tight jeans *When someone asks him “what time is it?” *Long legged pissed off Puerto Ricans *When a faggot tries to touch him *Construction Workers (He tells them to eat shit) *The angry janitor *Shit boat *Taking a shit whilst 50 people watch *Birds flying into his house *The fact that Grandma Jennell is "Old as fuck" *The fact that Grandma Jennell is 93 and doesn't know what Alf is *Googling Limp Bizkit for Jared (He won't even google it with Jared's dick!) *Clocks that are full of shit *Kentucky *When the cameraman comes to his house, has 6 pancakes, 6 sausages and 3 glasses of orange juice and then gets in his bed and wants to play with his ass *When Jared mistakens tit dirt for Mickey Mouse *When Jared says "shit" (as he told him not to say that) *Cats *George Hack *Charlie Chill *Tony DiGiovanni (Cleveland Bully Connection) Quotes TONE Operator: "Colgate Consumer Affairs." Danny: "{slightly raised voice} Yes. I bought your Colgate toothpaste. The one with tartar control. {considerably louder} And it made me feel, like a piece of shit!" Operator: "Sir?" Danny: "This is bullshit!" Operator: Sir, hold on one moment. {puts Danny on hold} POLICE'S "EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE" PLAYING Danny: I hope this is the Puff Daddy version of this song! Not that Sting... piece of shit!" ♪♪♪ {Danny bobs his head to the music for a few seconds then pauses} Sting: ♪ Every breath you take ''♪ '''Danny': "SCREAMING FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!! {chucks the Colgate toothpaste tubes down aggressively} Damn it! Holy shit!" Operator: "Sir?" Danny: "Balls!" Operator: "Sir, can you repeat your problem again?" Danny: "{much louder than the start} Yes. I bought your Colgate toothpaste. The one with tartar control. And it made me feel like a piece of shit!" Operator: "Sir, if you would like a refund of your product— {cut off mid-speech}" Danny: "{looks down} I pissed! {camera pans down to reveal a wet spot on the crotch area of his pants and he puts the telephone back on its stand} Fucking hung up my ass!" Danny: "{at a drive-thru} I want two cheeseburgers. I want pickles, and ketchup on them. {leans out his window} And don't load it up with a bunch of bull shit!" Cashier: "Okay, so, you want two cheeseburgers with pickles and ketchup. Will there be anything else?" Danny: "I want a biggie fries. {learns out his window again} And give me some shit to drink!" Danny: "{taking a shower; his sentences have few-second breaks between} You... BITCH! Oh, SHIT! Oh, sh—PISS! {distraught} Oh, no... Head and Shoulders {voice returns back to rage} my... ASS! PISS! Holy piss! My COCK! You... bitch! Suck my... DICK! You... faggot! Fuck you! My dick! Or... COCK! Damn! {distraught} Oh, no... {voice returns back to rage} Fuck you, Head and Shoulders! You... FAGGOT! What do you think of my ass?! Lick my... BALLS! Shit! Shit! {distraught} Shit! You... Oh, SHIT! Shit! Piss! Damn it! Fuck you! {voice returns back to rage} Suck my cock, you bitch! Lick my balls! Bastard! My tits! You cunt! Oh, shit! {distraught} Fuck you..." Danny: {in the bathroom brushing his teeth} Bullshit! {door knocking} Danny: Wait a minute you asshole, I'm brushing my teeth! {more knocking} Danny: Faggot! {more knocking} Danny: Fuck! {more knocking} Danny: Ass! {even more knocking} Danny: Motherfucker, I'll kick your ass!' ' Son: Telephone. Danny: Fuck the phone! Bullshit! Danny, shaking his toothbrush: Dick! I have balls! Bullshit. Bitch, {sticks middle finger at his mirror reflection} fuck you! Son: "Yeah, he's cussin'." Danny: "{his son is running up the stairs} Shit! Ass! Damn it! {Danny is shown in a room as he opens a door with his right hand and drinking from a can in the other. He takes a pace forwards} ''Pissing out the window, and shitting out the window... {take a few more paces forwards in a confrontational manner} are 2 different things!" {Danny shoves his son down the stairs}'' Son: "''Whoa, shit!" {he is shown at the bottom of the stairs}'' Danny: "I'll throw my shoe at your faggot ass!'' {Danny picks up a shoe with his right hand and throws it at his son}'' Danny: "Oh, Bob Saget!" Danny: {Danny walks down the basement stairs, wearing a stereotypical detective cloak} "''Tonight, on ''Unsolved Mysteries, find out who gives a shit about Big Foot, UPDATE!! Apparently nobody gives a shit so fuck him!! {Danny is bringing a one year supply of paper towels into the basement. They start to fall out of the box.} Danny: HOLY FUCK!!!. Shit Danny: Fuck! fuck fuck fuck fuck (glass shatters) Danny: FUUUUCK! Danny: Turn that shit down! PIISSSS! (neckbrace detaches) Oh, shit! Damn it! Danny's son: Eww what's that smell Danny: Frank shit his wheelchair